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Self-Trust and Our
Spirit
by Barbara Wilder |
"Money is the
visible sign of a universal force, and this force in its
manifestation on earth works on the vital and physical
planes and is indispensable to the fullness of the outer
life. In its origin and its true action it belongs to
the Divine." -- Sri Aurobindo
An important part of our spiritual growth and
development is beginning to trust in our own inner
guidance. To do this we must develop self-trust. But
self-trust is extremely difficult when we feel that we
are all alone in a dangerous universe. Living in a
society that has cut itself off from a divine source, we
feel at lose ends when we have no person or persons to
whom we can turn for help and guidance. The main god of
modern western society is science, which doesn’t lend
us much inner guidance or support. All people, whether
they’re aware of it or not, yearn for a connection
with a divine source. And it is when we become aware
that we truly are connected to a divine spirit that we
can relax a little and see that self-trust is part of
trusting in our own spirit in conjunction with divine
spirit.
If you have been unaware of your own divine spirit
connection until now, it may take a little time for you
to remember when you last experienced guidance or help
that sprang from outside the realm of logic, but I
assure you that if you spend some time looking back over
your life you will discover at least one event in your
life that defied rational explanation – a moment when
you experienced yourself trusting in and being helped
and supported by a divine source.
The best place to search for these irrational, divine
moments are during the difficult times in your life.
Life’s circumstances often force us to surrender to
the Divine because there are some things that we simply
don’t have the strength to handle our own. Those times
come up when, no matter how hard we try, we can’t
control the situation, fix the hurt, or solve the
problem. Death, divorce, severe accidents, money losses,
and parenting are a few of the things that can trigger a
divine intervention.
As I began to look back over my own life I remembered
a simple yet powerful example related to parenting. The
responsibility of raising a child can often be
overwhelming, especially for very young mothers. There
you are, footloose and fancy free, and suddenly the life
of this tiny person is given into your care. You know it
is your responsibility to keep this baby safe, but the
world is a frightening place, and some days it seems
like you may not be able to protect your child from
everything.
When I was twenty-two I had an eighteen-month-old
son. I lived in a constant state of fear that he
would hurt himself and die. One day I took him to the
beach for the first time. It was a gorgeous Southern
California day. I set my precious baby boy down on a
blanket and sat back to watch him experience the beauty
of the ocean. The first thing he did was toddle off the
blanket and scoop a handful of sand into his mouth. I
leapt up and cleaned the sand out of his mouth the best
I could and scolded him. Within seconds he was right
back at it. I was very upset. I wasn’t sure what
eating sand would do, but I knew it couldn’t be good.
Nothing I did or said made the slightest impression on
him. I took him into the water to play in the waves, but
he just scooped up the wet sand and ate that.
I was becoming exhausted from the fear that I could
not protect my child. The only thing I could think to do
was take him home, but we were with other people who
weren’t ready to leave. Then, suddenly, for no
apparent reason, I had this overwhelming feeling of
calm. I sensed that I could stop worrying – that my
baby would be all right. From somewhere the knowledge
that his life wasn’t in my hands alone popped into my
mind like a little epiphany. Someone, somewhere was
telling me that the life and death of my child was out
of my control. From that moment I became a more relaxed
mother. I learned to let him try things and find out for
himself, when it was appropriate. I didn’t relinquish
my responsibility, but I realized that I wasn’t alone.
I began to trust that I was doing the very best job I
could, and that the rest was not up to me. Over my
lifetime I have been reminded many times that I am not
alone. And each time I let go and trust divine spirit, I
am able to trust myself a little more at the same time.
To find some moments of divine interventions in your
life, ponder the following questions. Write about them.
Take them into your meditation. See what you begin to
remember. Remembering that we are not alone helps us to
remember that we can trust ourselves, because we are
equal partners with the Divine.
QUESTIONS TO PONDER
- Can you remember a time when you trusted your own
judgment completely?
- Can you remember a time when you knew a divine
power of some kind was helping or guiding you?
- Have you ever had to give up and just trust that
your life or the situation was out of your hands?
Excerpted from: "IN THE COMPANY OF POWERFUL WOMEN:
Coming of Age in the Second Half of Life" by
Barbara Wilder © Copyright Barbara Wilder 2003. All Rights Reserved.
Barbara Wilder is the author of the widely
acclaimed MONEY IS LOVE: Reconnecting to the Sacred
Origins of Money, and the just released IN THE
COMPANY OF POWERFUL WOMEN: Coming of Age in the Second
Half of Life. She is a nationally recognized
workshop and seminar leader, who has appeared on many
radio talk-shows including shows hosted by Shirley
MacLaine and Uri Geller, and has led dozens
of workshops throughout the US. Barbara lives in
Boulder, Colorado with her poet husband, Patrick
Pritchett. She also is an award winning screenwriter and
teaches screenwriting at Naropa University from time to
time.
Visit Barbara's website: www.moneyislove.com.
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