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Give Yourself
the Gift of You
By Mildred Lynn
McDonald |
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Your life. Try it on for size. Is it
the right fit, color and style for you? In the hustle
and bustle of everyday life, many of us have
super-sized, revved-up versions that are simply too big
and cumbersome to be truly rewarding.
How does this happen? Usually by
being distracted and settling into comfy,
one-size-fits-all life "moo-moos" or tent
dresses that cover the true, essential beauty of your
Life Force essence.
As a life coach, I’ve had the
privilege to observe people, coast-to-coast, step out of
their over-sized moo-moos to discover the true beauty of
their being. In a way, it is similar to making an annual
"here comes spring" commitment to more
exercise and better eating – but at a much deeper
level, at the Life Force (Qi) Energy level.
What is Life Force (Qi) Energy?
Simply put, Life Force Energy is the
Universal light consciousness that enters the physical
body when you are born and leaves the physical body when
you depart; it is the timeless current that puts the
high voltage sparkle in your eyes and connects you to
the Universe at large. Life Force Energy, when harnessed
and directed, is a captivating way to blossom into your
highest potential – known, or yet to be discovered.
The reason I love to work with people
at the Life Force Energy level is that it lends itself
to practical tools that empower at the
"intention" stage; the energetic bus stop just
before Life Force Energy starts to manifest – mind,
body, emotion, dream and spirit – in the physical
world.
In addition, the process of life
coaching has often re-affirmed that learning to navigate
thorough the "how to" of personal growth is
the first step in discovering one’s true Life Force
essence. Interestingly, it is often the Third Chakra –
or the "self-to-self" Chakra – that causes a good bit
of discomfort, angst, anxiety, and resistance, as one
embarks along the happy trail.
Shake Your Own Hand First!
Today, most people know the
importance of health and balance. The common sense way
to secure this goal is to invest in a daily routine of
care for the "self." The concept of self-care
usually fits comfortably in the intellect, until it
comes to diving in and actually giving time to you. Yes,
this is when "guilt" often kicks in and kicks
up a fuss.
Why is this? Perhaps it is left over
life fabric of early years, an ingrained belief that
links "self-care" with
"selfishness," or simply habit. Whatever the
source, Third Chakra Life Force Energy is often a force
to be reckoned with and gently nudged along the personal
growth trail.
As many people hurl themselves in a
race where the first prize is exhaustion, the most
common reasons, from coast-to-coast, for not investing
in self-care are: "I don’t have time,"
"It’s selfish," and "I don’t deserve
it." And the infamous, "I can’t ask, and
even if I could, who would I ask?"
The net-net is that these reasons,
although very real to the person experiencing them, act
like a big dab of Crazy Glue keeping you stuck in a life
pattern that limits, numbs and agitates. This is where
the Third Chakra comes in, and the concept of
"Shake-your-own-hand-first!"
Picture this. You are in a room full
of people, there are hundreds, no thousands of hands
just waiting to be clasped, and the line is endless. But
wait; before you extend your reach, your hand
presents itself. You clasp your hand securely and feel a
sense of calm, clarity and connection with the Universe.
From this place of self-to-self alignment, you are able
to decide which hands to shake and when, knowing full
well that if you don’t shake someone’s hand, the
Universe will provide another hand for them to shake if
it is in their highest interest. All of a sudden, you
relax, take a deep breath and start enjoying you – and
your life!
Shake your own hand first! means
flipping "I don’t have time" to "I have
all the time that I need"; "I’m
selfish" to "I invest to be the best for
myself and others"; "I don’t deserve
it" turns into "I am equally worthy"; and
the infamous, "I can’t ask, and even if I could,
who would I ask?" turns into "The Universe
will provide".
Once you make the choice to flip non-life supporting
energy such as "I don’t have time" into
life-supporting energy such as "I have all the time
that I need," your Life Force Energy automatically
starts shifting into alignment with your highest purpose
potential – momentum builds, and the magic of synergy,
synchronicity appear with more frequency. Most
importantly, with the power of choice, you learn how to
reclaim your sense of "self" and the process
of discovering the true, essential beauty of your bold,
beautiful Life Force essence has begun!
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Shake Your Own Hand First!
Exercise:
1. Find a quiet spot. Relax.
Connect your breath with your heart (3-4 slow deep
breaths)
2. List of five reasons that you
use when you choose not to "shake your own
hand first." Beside each reason, note your
feelings and how your body reacts. Continue to
connect your breath with your heart. Give yourself
the gift of being fully in the moment with you.
Relax.
3. Flip or shift the Life Force
Energy by rewriting each reason (above) from the
perspective of choosing to shake your own hand
first. For example: "I don’t deserve
it" flips into "I am equally
worthy." Beside each reason, note your
feelings and how your body reacts. Continue to
connect your breath with your heart. Give yourself
the gift of being fully in the moment with you.
Relax.
4. Starting now, list one action
item that you can take this week to help you
"shake your own hand first." Beautiful
stuff!
Good news! You can do this
exercise by yourself or with two or three other
people. Enjoy! |
Making Inner Peace a Priority
When working with coaching clients, I
often encourage them to connect with their center and
from that place of inner wisdom and empowerment, make
the life choice of the moment. This sounds
straightforward in theory, but many times, the following
three practical, and most welcome, questions arise:
1. How do you "know" when
you are connected with your center?
2. How does it feel?
3. How do you stay connected to your
center?
The best way that I’ve found to
communicate the sense of inner peace is through the
life-supporting energy vibration of
"happiness".
Do you know what makes you happy? When I
say "happy," I mean in the joyful sense; that
magical electricity that tingles from the top of your
head to the tips of your toes – a feeling that has
deep roots in the faraway, exotic land of personal
"fulfillment".
Happiness, Success and Fulfillment
For a while, I was toying with the ideas
of happiness, success and fulfillment. As a society, we
are reared to have a good working knowledge of what is
required of us to be successful; hard work, talent, a
snazzy outfit, a power lunch or two; and perhaps even a
little luck. We are less sure (and secure) about what is
required of us to be fulfilled. This is true for both
individuals and as a collective Mc-Instant generation.
Do you know the difference? According to
the dictionary, success means someone who attains fame,
power, and wealth or is judged favorably by others – in short, a winner with a capital "W";
fulfillment means a feeling of deep, inner satisfaction.
The subtle difference lies in the area of internal
verses external validation.
In real life, I often come across many
people who are struggling with the push-pull of the
success verses fulfillment equation – so much so that
I can almost feel them rocking to and fro. This motion
often continues until the person has an "ah"
moment and chooses to identify, accept and embrace what
makes them personally happy – regardless of what society
says or values. After a shaking off period, an enhanced
sense of self-worth, confidence and personal fulfillment
blossoms. The influence of external or success-oriented
valuators (status, money, looks) become less important,
lose context and fade like an echo (instead of roaring
like an ear-piercing yodel).
The other characteristic of the healthy
personal fulfillment journey is that often, what makes
people happy is astonishingly simple and accessible. The
linchpin seems to be when a person decides that the only
measure of success is the degree to which their success
is in-sync with their Life Purpose – which
interestingly enough, just happens to be the person’s
greatest opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in
this lifetime. Voila!
Do you know where you stand on your
personal success verses fulfillment scale? Just for fun,
try the Success vs. Fulfillment Exercise below:
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Success vs. Fulfillment Exercise:
1. List four items that would be
part of your personal definition of success; then
do the same for your personal definition of
fulfillment.
2. Highlight or circle any areas
where success and fulfillment overlap.
3. Rate each item on a scale from
1 to 10, 10 being what is most important to you
today.
4. Take each item that you have
identified as "success" and note what it
would take to make that item shift into
"fulfilling".
5. Post your Success vs.
Fulfillment list and refer to it often. In one
month, revisit your definitions and rating scale.
Good news! You can do this
exercise with yourself or with 2 to 3 other
people. Enjoy |
As a life coach, it is rewarding to have
the honor to observe a human being "shake their own
hand first," learn to discern between success and
fulfillment, and realize that they really do have
everything they need to be happy, healthy and fully
engaged in life. It is even more rewarding to walk a
path that shares Life Force (Qi) Energy skills, insights
and processes that help harness and direct mind, body,
emotion and dream energies at the "intention"
stage, that "I choose " spot just before Life
Force (Qi) Energy manifests in the physical form. It is
akin to a beautiful, turquoise Hawaiian flower
blossoming in spring.
So why not throw off that
one-size-fits-all life "moo-moo" that is
covering up your Life Force Energy, your true self? Ultimately,
it is up to you to create your life, try it on, see if
it fits, twirl around and experience the wonder of being
alive. This is the greatest gift the Universe has to
offer to you. Take it. Give Yourself the Gift of You!
© Copyright Mildred Lynn McDonald 2005. All Rights Reserved.
Mildred Lynn McDonald’s life adventure has whisked her
across North America, through the industries of Health
& Fitness, High Tech and Publishing, and into the
executive halls of Fortune 50 companies. The common
thread has been a love of people and the sincere desire
to help everyone live their passion, find their joy and
experience life fully and completely.
Mildred Lynn
turned her heart’s vision into Applied Ability (www.appliedability.com),
a Canada-USA coaching, mentoring and marketing company
for mind-body-soul advocates ready to apply their
abilities to fulfill their heart’s
passion. Her clients span from California to Nova
Scotia.
Mildred Lynn is
a Registered Dietitian (RD), a Certified Integrative
Coach (CIC), member of the International Association of
Integrative Coaches (IAIC), and author of "Dance to
the Beat of Your Own Heart" e-book.
In 2005,
Mildred Lynn launched SoulNudge Creates! e-zine
to share insights, resources and inspiration from
fascinating people (like you!) who have followed their
heart's passion to successfully apply their abilities to
their life’s work. SoulNudge Creates! e-zine: www.appliedability.com/newsletter/issue0305
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