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What is Soulful
Living?
by
Jane Alexander |
As I write this, it’s nearly Yuletide and my four-year
old son is virtually exploding with excitement. I’ve
been forcing myself to put aside my usual workaholic
tendencies and share his wonder. So we’ve been making
cards and decorations and tramping out in the cold frost
to bring back armfuls of holly, ivy and mistletoe. Every
so often I’m able to slough off the worrying and
cynicism and gloom of adulthood and become, in essence,
a small child once more. The world turns gleaming new
and I remember my own childhood when every leaf, every
pebble, every glint of sunlight was magical. And you
know what, THIS is soulful living. It really is. It’s
so simple, it’s almost unbelievable. Soulful living is
about BEING, pure and simple. It’s about living
totally and utterly within our true selves, in the
moment, breathing deep of life. It’s about slowing
down enough to notice the tiny wonders of everyday life,
to share a smile with a friend; to look deep into your
partner’s eyes and say you love them; to hug your
child, to notice the frosted lace of a spider’s web.
It may be simple but it certainly isn’t easy. All
too often I find myself tangled with trivia, obsessed
with the material world, caught up in what needs to be
done, what SHOULD be done. And of course, we have to
keep our eyes on reality or we’d all sink. But please,
please leave yourself time for the small joys of life.
The greatest gift of all is time – it’s the heart
and soul of soulful living. It’s been said a million
times before but seriously –what would you regret not
doing if you were to die tomorrow? Would the material
things really matter? I don’t think so.
This last year has been tough for me – my father
died in June and my sister spent a lot of time in
hospital battling cancer. Many people I know have been
through hell and back. It reminds me that soulful living
isn’t always about being constantly light and bright
either. The MBS movement is wonderful but equally I
think it has become wildly unbalanced. Everyone is
looking for a quick fix, for instant spirituality, for
unbounded joy and success and wealth – all the time,
just like that. It’s just not feasible and it’s
certainly not soulful. I firmly believe we are put on
this Earth to learn and that learning means embracing
the rough as well as the smooth. Sometimes it’s
necessary to descend into our own hell, to meet
ourselves in our primal, true form. It’s necessary
because soulful living is about being absolutely totally
yourself, with no airs or graces, without the burden of
an overextended ego. It’s tough and, to be honest, it’s
far easier to "play" at being soulful. We can
all sling up a few pictures of Buddha, toss together an
altar, light up our incense and feng shui our houses. We
can easily take up yoga, or chanting, or go for massages
and acupuncture. We can pray until we’re sick of the
sound of our own voices but, unless it’s meaningful to
you at that moment, it’s wasted time and space. I
think, because we live in a mall culture where shopping
is tantamount to religion, lots of us imagine we can
"buy" soulful – if we get the right
accessories and do the right things, we will
automatically become soulful. Not so. Soulful living is
far more elusive than that.
My advice is to start small. Look for the spiritual,
the divine, in everyday little things. By all means have
a spiritual practice but check it’s not overtaking
your life. I know several people who are too busy
meditating and going on retreats to spend time with
their children. They buy in takeaways because they are
too absorbed in the latest spiritual bestseller to cook.
They’re missing out. Prepare and cook a meal with love
and it becomes a spiritual act – I recently met a yoga
teacher who chants blessings on the food as he cooks
(and the food tastes divine!). Clean like the Shakers
– make it moving meditation. Learn how to breathe
fully – breath is life and how you breathe symbolises
how you approach life (I’d recommend deeply and
fully!). Look long and hard at your relationships and
figure out how to make them better – other people are
our teachers (all the things that irritate you about
them will undoubtedly be your own faults!). Don’t
procrastinate – it’s a horrible word for a terrible
practice.
Take every opportunity to play with your children –
playing, imagining, creating plugs you into soulful
living like nothing else. Don’t have children? No
excuses. Transform yourself into a favourite aunt or
uncle, godparent or grandparent. Seriously, it’s real
soul work.
Go out into nature and notice the little things as
well as the wide horizons. I’ve spent the last year
devoting as much time as I can squeeze to shamanic
journeying and it really is a wonderful soulful practice
– simple, straightforward and down to earth. It’s a
direct way to contact spirit – and to bring healing
and wisdom back to ordinary reality. I can’t recommend
it highly enough and would like to honour the Sacred
Trust for my training (they’re affiliated with the
Foundation for Shamanic Studies – www.shamanism.org
).
Last thoughts. Be very wary of anyone who calls him
or herself a guru and run like the plague from anyone
who wants to charge you bucketloads of money for
spiritual guidance or healing. Bottom line? Keep it
simple: follow your heart, believe in your dreams, hug
your kids, examine the odd snowflake. OK, that’s it.
Now I’ll go try to follow my own advice!
Read more of Jane Alexander’s work
on her website: www.janealexander.org
Copyright © 2002 Jane
Alexander. All Rights Reserved.
Jane Alexander is a UK-based writer on natural health, holistic living and
contemporary spirituality. SJane Alexander has written
numerous books on soulful living and natural health,
including Live Well (HarperCollins), Spirit of the
Kitchen (Watson Gupthill) and The Weekend Healer
(Fireside). Her website, www.janealexander.org,
is packed with information on how to live more
soulfully. Jane lives with her family in a remote
farmhouse in the Exmoor National Park in the South-west
of England.
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