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See it, Say it and
Savor Your Success!
by Robin L. Silverman |
Becky wanted a new life.
After her husband announced he was divorcing her,
Becky's life went into a horrifying downward spiral. Her
finances took a nosedive. Her oldest daughter started
using drugs. Her younger daughter started flunking out
of school. She started hating her job, her age, her body
and her state of mind.
Rather than collapse in despair, Becky decided to try
visualization. She knew she wanted a better life, and
wanted to add something more spiritual to her hope and
hard work to help make it happen. The process she used
is one I teach in my workshops, which can be summed up
as "see it, say it and savor your success."
Not long after Becky made her wish, she and I were
introduced by a major national magazine who wanted to
empower their readers with energizing ideas that reduced
stress and produced profound results. So I asked Becky
the first and most important question in making
visualization work: "What makes you feel safe?"
Some visualization teachers will suggest that their
students begin by focusing on what makes them feel
excited or energized. "Think big," they'll
say. "Go for your dreams." The problem with
this is that initially, trying to visualize goals is
actually counter-productive for most people. It throws
you directly onto an unknown, untried path. This is a
frightening place to be, especially if you're using
visualization to help break free of dark or difficult
circumstances, as Becky was. Early goal visualization
can heighten the mental and emotional distance between
where you perceive yourself to be and where you want to
go. It makes you more aware of what you have not yet
achieved and how far you have to go to get what you
want.
Instead, it is better to start in the now, in
whatever is your personal comfort zone. This actually
hastens positive change, since you will feel less fear
and resistance to anything new. Becky chose the safest
place she could think of: her bedroom. I asked her to
see it in her mind and describe it to me in all of her
five senses. "It has a huge king-sized bed with red
Ralph Lauren sheets," she said. "I like to
listen to Kenny G. music and read novels in bed. My
favorite snack is a glass of icy cold milk that has just
spent five minutes in the freezer, accompanied by
chocolate chip cookies hot out of the oven, when the
chocolate practically drips from the cookie when you
bite into them." She added that her little shitzu,
Max, liked to jump on the bed to keep her company.
Together, we took this calm setting and made it the
place where her dreams could come true. We brainstormed
a script where the scene came alive in ways that felt
right and good to her. Becky felt comfortable with the
idea of coming home, kicking off her shoes and listening
to the messages on her answering machine. We decided
that the first would come from her older daughter, who
would be saying something like, "Mom, I just want
you to know that I'm okay. I feel great and I just got a
good job, so I can pay for my own apartment now."
The second would be from her baby, saying, "Guess
what, Mom! I got an A on my history final." And the
third would come from a new man in her life, whose
message would be something like, "Hi, sweetheart. I
have our tickets to the Caribbean. Can't wait to get
away with you!"
I took this story and carried it to the next step in
visualization: Saying it. Many people have dreams, but
they are never more than fleeting thoughts. I recorded
Becky's visualization onto an audiotape that not only
included everything above, but spiritual reminders in
the form of affirmations of the woman she wanted to be.
Becky found her spirituality in religious practice, so I
added lines from the Bible and other Christian tracts
that she found inspiring. The ten-minute tape had a
soothing musical background that made it pleasant and
easy to listen to. I sent it to her with instructions to
listen to the tape twice daily—once upon rising and
once before bed. Becky kept a journal after each session
so she could clearly see where she was accepting or
resisting the life-affirming ideas she had chosen for
herself.
Within 30 days of mentally seeing, vocally saying and
verbally writing (saying on paper) what she wanted,
Becky had begun to manifest everything on the tape. Her
eldest daughter moved out and started to support herself
(she is now totally drug-free, married, and has a
healthy child). Her younger daughter started to do
better in school. Becky relaxed about her job and her
finances, and both started to improve. "I'm the
calmest person at the office!" she said with a
laugh one day. Towards the end of the month, she
attracted a new beau, a man she eventually married. As
things changed for the better, she embraced them, the
third step in successful visualization. Today, she says,
"If someone had told me three years ago that I
could be this happy now, I would have told them they
were crazy."
How does visualization work? It uses a uniquely human
power, imagination, and combines it with E-motion, which
author Neale Donald Walsch calls "energy in
motion." These pictures go first into your body,
where you feel them physically, since your body doesn't
know the difference between something you're merely
thinking about and an actual experience of it. When your
mental images are in line with what your soul considers
life-enhancing, you are full of energy. When you think
worried, angry or frustrated thoughts, you're more
likely to feel achy, stiff or tired. Read your body, and
you can read your mind.
From there, your mental images radiate out into the
world around you. The energy that is constantly coming
off your body is magnetic, and attracts to it other
energetic fields that are like it in character and
intensity. This is why on the days when you get out of
"the wrong side of bed," you seem to have one
thing after another go wrong. Conversely, when you're
seeing and appreciating people and circumstances you
like, you are literally and figuratively "in the
flow."
Our minds naturally think in motion pictures. More
than 50,000 times every day, brief mental images flash
in our heads. Unfortunately, 80% of these are
self-protective, defensive thoughts about things we do
not want, cannot do or fear we won't have. These can
serve a purpose by creating the contrast necessary to
help us decide our next steps, but most people are
simply frozen by them. The trick, then, is to wade
through this mental minefield to find what I call
"one good thought"—a picture of something
that makes you feel comfortable, safe and glad to be
alive right now, in the present moment.
This one thought becomes the seed of a mighty tree of
life for you. But before you plant it, you must test its
authenticity. Say it out loud. Let yourself hear it
"from the horse's mouth." If it makes you feel
comfortable and peaceful, chances are good it's the
right one for you. If it makes you feel edgy, nervous or
uncertain, choose another.
Once you have your seed, you can play, "And this…and
that." Simply put, this is a game where you say,
"Now that I have this, I would like this, and that,
and this, and that." In other words, you add to the
picture, like watering the seed and adding sunshine, a
gentle breeze, mineral-rich soil, and so on. Add images
that bring the seed to life. Use sound, texture, smells,
sights and even tastes until you start to feel a little
edgy or nervous, which is the point of resistance. Do it
slowly, one thing at a time, savoring each addition.
Take your sweet time about it. When God created heaven
and earth, our source did not say, "Oops! I forgot
the animals and the people." Instead, God simply
looked at each new creation and blessed it by saying,
"This is good." Do the same, first seeing,
then saying, but most importantly, savoring what you
have created.
The final touch is to add affirmations to your
pictures. Create them in the present tense, since the
only time that truly exists is now. Use the phrases
"I am" and "I have," as in "I
am wearing clothes that feel comfortable on my healthy
body" or "I have enough money to buy this ice
cream cone." Besides "I am" and "I
have" a third powerful affirmation is "Let
there be ________." Again, think them and speak
them, either vocally or on paper. Sound carries
vibrations that also help draw people and circumstances
into your life. As things begin to arrive, be careful to
embrace them, regardless of the form in which they come.
Say, "This is good," as God did, and your
success will be all the swifter and sweeter.
If you would like more information about
visualization and affirmations, check out the chapter on
the gift of Dreams in my book, "The Ten
Gifts." There, you will find ten questions to help
you clarify and decide what might be the best
visualization for you right now. You will also find
instructions on scripting and taping an audiotape like
the one Becky used.
So see it, say it, and savor your success. Before
long, you'll be living with a lot less stress and a lot
more satisfaction!
© Robin
Silverman. 2001. All rights reserved
Robin Silverman is an author, motivational speaker and consultant specializing in human potential. She writes and presents visualization programs
that reduce stress and improve individual and team performance. She also teaches
public speaking at the University of Minnesota. Robin has published more than
1200 newspaper and magazine articles celebrating the best of the human spirit,
and is the author of the new book, "The Ten Gifts" (St.
Martin's Press) and the forthcoming book, "Something Wonderful is
About to Happen" (Adams Publishing, 2001)
Silverman is the author of the award-winning
middle-grade book, A Bosnian Family, the story of refugees from
the war in the former Yugoslavia. She is also the author of two audiotapes: Love
From Home and Relaxation for Busy People, which are
being used by men and women nationwide to reduce stress and create happier, more
fulfilling lives. Her stories are featured in the bestselling books Chicken
Soup for the Unsinkable Soul, Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mother's Soul,
Small Miracles for Women and Heartwarmers. In addition,
her work has appeared in a variety of national magazines, including Inc.
magazine, Ladies' Home Journal, New Woman, Teen, Woman's World and more.
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