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Soul Nourishment
and Self-Care
by
Jane Alexander |
How do we care for our souls? Where do we find
nourishment for our innermost being? If we have belief
in a religious faith we tend to look to the time-honoured
sanctuaries of the soul--church, synagogue, temple,
mosque, perhaps the sacred grove. Other seekers try to
nourish the soul with meditation and ritual, by talking
to angels or walking with power animals. And yes, these
certainly can nourish the soul, and nourish it well. But
I also feel that in our hunt for spiritual meaning, we
can lose track of simpler ways of soul nourishment and
self-care. Sometimes we can touch the soul just as
deeply with a carefully prepared meal as we can with an
intense sweat lodge. A genuine conversation with a
neighbour can be as nourishing as an hour of prayer or
meditation. I suppose I'm talking about soul nourishment
as a daily practice. It shouldn't be a chore, yet one
more thing to squeeze into an already overcrowded day;
but a pleasure, a break, a moment aside. It's about
loving yourself--even the bits you don't like. It's
about being kind to yourself. It's about accepting that
life is not all angels and transcendent experiences, but
also about disappointment and routine--but that our
souls can find treasure here too. It's about looking out for our bodies; it's about
being kind to our feelings. It's a kind of coffee break
for the soul.
I can almost hear a collective cynical intake of
breath and a rather ambivalent "hmmm". I know
what you mean: finding the soul through the humdrum,
particularly in the body, sounds a contradiction in
terms. Surely our souls are as far removed from our
earthy, mundane, physical bodies as the sun from the
earth? Not so. One of our greatest mistakes is to shun
the body and seek the soul only in other, more
"elevated" places. After all, who out of us
truly knows where the soul lies, where it makes its
home? We tend to think of our souls as residing
somewhere in or above our heads, glittering in our auras
or floating gracefully at a discrete, rather coy,
distance from our fleshly being. But other cultures
claim the soul lies in the heart, that steadily pulsing
great muscle deep in our chests. Others believe it hides
in the liver, the great detoxifier; or in the stomach,
the great processor; or in the lungs, the great
inspirers; or in any number of corporeal places: the
spleen, the gall-bladder, the solar plexus. Who is
right? Maybe they all are. To my mind, we can do far
worse in our soul nourishment than to look within, to
discover the wonder of the body.
HEY, YOU HAVE A BODY!
Try this exercise. Stand naked in front of a
full-length mirror. Quietly look at your body. Really
look at it. At first you will probably only notice what
you see as imperfections: you're too fat or too thin; a
funny shape; too short, too tall; you have a horrible
nose or breasts or stomach or feet….. Accept that
everyone has parts of their body that they don't
consider perfect and let the thought go. A practitioner
of Huna massage I knew advised that you do this exercise
every day until you start to feel true acceptance of
your body. You should start to notice the parts you
actually like. Appreciate the parts that work for you -
your strong legs that carry you; your wonderful hands
that write, draw or work machinery; your belly that has
carried or could carry a baby; your breasts that could
feed a child. Your buttocks that cushion you…… I'm
not going as far as to suggest you write affirmations to
the tune of "I love my beautiful bowels" as
some people prescribe - frankly, that makes me crease up
with laughter. But accept that they do have a point--your
bowels are pretty amazing, actually. So is your
lymphatic system. So is everything within your body.
SOUL EXERCISE
Bodies are meant for movement. There is nothing more
wonderful than a fit healthy body moving freely,
flexibly, to its full potential. Yet remarkably few of
us exercise regularly and, strangely enough, those of us
that do often inflict almost more harm on our bodies
than good. Everyone has seen the exercise addict,
pounding the Stairmaster every night for hours; doing
three aerobics classes on the trot; running until they
are gasping for air and their joints are pleading for
mercy. This is punishing the body and it does as little
for the soul as it does for the tendons, muscles and
bones it mercilessly pounds.
Soul exercise is not about pushing your body to the
limit. It's not about proving anything. It's not about
being the best, the fastest, the thinnest. It's not
about wearing the latest trainers or doing the trendiest
class or fad. It's about discovering the joy of moving
your body. It's like moving meditation.
It doesn't matter what form of exercise you choose.
All that does matter is that you should choose something
you enjoy. Why waste hours and a fortune going to a gym
when you hate weight training and loathe aerobics
classes? Why run if you hate running? Don't pick a sport
because it's fashionable or because your best friend
does it. Pick something that makes you smile when you
think of it.
Of course, if you are very unfit or haven't exercised
in years, you will have to be patient with yourself. It
might take you a while to get into your chosen exercise
and to begin with, it could well be tough. The key is to
do it slowly, carefully and gradually build up your
strength and stamina. You can do it.
The great news is that, if you haven't exercised for
ages or ever, you will see real results really quickly.
And you will discover the pure joy in feeling your body
working--and enjoying the work. Aside from enjoying
what you do, the other key factor in this "soul
exercise" is that you need to keep in touch with
your body as you work out.
I see people going around my gym with headphones
clamped to their ears, music blasting out or cycling
away, nose deep in the paper or a book. That defeats the
whole point. Try instead to connect with your body,
really feel the muscles working, check out how your
heart is coping; how you're breathing. Be in your body,
not evading it. Use your exercise time as mindfulness
time: focus on how your body feels; become aware of your
heart, listen to your breathing.
SMALL SOUL BREAKS FOR THE BODY
Most of us live in our heads. We can go virtually
from one end of the day to the other without really
thinking about our bodies. Sure we stop for lunch--or
to gulp down a sandwich at our desks. OK, we get up once
in a while to go to the bathroom--our bladders are one
part of our bodies it's pretty hard to ignore. But how
often do we stop and sense our bodies, think about how
they feel throughout the day? Probably not much, if at
all. So stop this very moment and take an inventory.
Sense how your body feels. Is it stiff? How's your neck?
Tense? Are your shoulders relaxed or up around your
ears? Are you clenching your teeth so hard that when you
think about it you realise your jaw is hurting? Does
your body need anything? Water perhaps (we easily become
dehydrated and tea, coffee and fizzy drinks don't do the
trick)? Food? (often our bodies are just plain hungry or
hungry for food that really sustains. Some fruit maybe
instead of a chocolate bar… or a proper lunch of soup,
whole wheat bread and salad rather than a limp
supermarket sandwich.) Have you been sitting so long
that your back aches or your buttocks are numb? Do you
need a good stretch? A quick run up and down stairs? Do
your eyes feel bright and clear, or sore and itchy? If
you stare at a computer screen all day, do your eyes
need to rest or to focus on something long distance for
a change? Are you tired? Does your whole body need a quick
catnap or a longer rest?
Of course it won't always be
possible to give your body precisely what it needs but
try to give it something, even if at times it is just a
quick fix. Learn to listen to your body and try to help
it any way you can.
MAKE-UP FOR THE SOUL
Even your daily cleansing and make-up routine can be
transformed into a small but important ritual. Don't
race through it--do it mindfully, carefully,
thoughtfully. You are preparing yourself for the day
ahead so think about how you want to face the day. What
do you want to achieve? How do you want to feel? What do
you want to remember throughout the day?
Use the time to ground yourself, to look at yourself
in the mirror and think about who you really are. Will
you act with integrity today? Will you give your best?
Will you be kind - to yourself and to others? You may
not feel your face is perfect but it is you, your outer
self, so be gentle to it. Cleanse it gently,
thoughtfully. Choose carefully the products you use on
your skin. Cheap ones may be drying or coarse, pulling
the skin. But equally expensive "designer"
products may be full of unpleasant additives. Some are
even cynically designed so your skin becomes dependent
on them. While you use them, the skin looks wonderful
but as soon as you stop, it loses its glow and looks
stressed and strained.
Instead try to find pure, natural products which are
made with integrity. "Soul" cosmetics need not
cost the earth either. After all, why buy expensive
toner when you could use rose water or witchhazel or
orange-flower water instead? When I go to Italy I head
for the nearest supermarket and stock up on bottles of
rose-water. They cost next to nothing and are as good a
toner as any fancy name product. Above all keep it
simple. Cosmetic companies would have us believe that we
need a whole bathroom full of fancy products to keep us
beautiful. The most effective beauty regimes in the
world come from the East, particularly Japan. There they
say that for a beautiful face you first need a good
diet. Second you need to protect your skin from the
ravages of the sun. Then you need to cleanse thoroughly
and finally protect your skin. So choose your products
with care. But also pick things you love. If you can't
afford fancy pots there's nothing to stop you
transferring the product into a different pot. Rummage
around junk shops and car boot sales for old-fashioned
jars, cut-glass or crystal pots and attractive bottles.
Clean them thoroughly and decant your new products into
lovely old-fashioned receptacles.
BATH BREAKS
Make bath-time soul-time--a time to lie and soak,
and dream and muse and ponder. Run the bath, add your
favourite herbs or oils or unguents. Light candles.
Prepare warm fluffy towels for when you emerge. Lock the
door and demand peace. You might like to play your
favourite music, or you might like to relish some peace
and pure quiet. Now undress slowly, step in, sink down--and relax. Feel the water holding your body. Feel the
tensions sinking out of your body and into the water
where they simply melt away. Stay as long as you like,
topping up the water to keep warm.
You can buy expensive bath-soaks and unguents but the
very best are the ones you make yourself. You know then
they are totally pure and, by investing love and care in
the making of them, you are providing your body with the
extra knowledge that you are prepared to make an effort
on its behalf. Try these…..
WARMING WINTER BATH: This is a recipe I've used for
years for staving off colds and flu and generally
strengthening the body. Take 3 large spoonfuls
(tablespoon size) each of thyme, rosemary, basil,
marjoram, hyssop and salad burnet (I grow these in my
garden but you can use dried herbs - use a small
teaspoonful of each instead). Crush four tablespoons of
fennel seeds with a pestle and mortar and put all the
ingredients in an enamel saucepan with five pints of
water and simmer for about half an hour. Strain the
herbs and add the water to a bath with a teaspoon or two
of wheatgerm oil and two tablespoons of honey. (Note: do
not substitute essential oils for the herbs in this
mix).
SOOTHING SUMMER BATH: Make a decoction of the
following: three large tablespoons of chamomile flowers;
violets; cowslips; sweet woodruff; vervain and linden
blossom (if fresh--or a teaspoon of each if dried).
Strain the herbs after about half an hour and add the
liquid to a warm (not hot) bath. Float rose petals and
borage flowers on top.
CLEOPATRA'S SECRET BATH: Cleopatra bathed in asses'
milk, so the tales go, but any milk makes a soothing
bath. Add a few drops (no more) of your favourite
essential oils--try lavender, geranium, chamomile,
jasmine, rose or neroli for a soothing, mood-improving
bath. If you want to feel energised and invigorated go
for rosemary, sage and pine. If you feel you have a cold
coming on, add a couple of drops of black pepper and
tea-tree oil to help you fight the infection.
EAT MINDFULLY
It's no coincidence that in all the great healing
traditions of the world, food is treated with great
reverence, as a great healer in its own right. In the
past, when we only ate by our own efforts, by the hard
work of hunting, farming and husbandry, food was treated
with respect and eaten with grateful thanks. Now we buy
whatever takes our fancy from supermarkets, in boxes and
packets, neat and precise, cling-filmed and clean. Ready
meals and convenience foods are pushed into the
microwave. After a few minutes, we transfer it to a tray
and sit spooning it into our mouths as we watch
television. What has happened to our daily bread? It's a
long way from the idea of food to nourish both body and
spirit--what the West Indians so rightfully call
"soul" food. It's not practical for us all to
become hunters, or self-sufficient market gardeners. We
can't all tend our own crops or raise our own livestock.
But we can regain a feeling of respect for our food. We
can care for what we eat, and how we eat it. There are
very simple steps we can take to give food back its
rightful place in our lives.
Think about where your food comes from and choose it
carefully. Soul nourishing food is good food--food that
is healthy both for you and for the earth. Try wherever
you can to buy organic--vegetables and fruits which
have been grown without chemicals are good for your body
and good for the environment. Organic food is more
expensive, at the moment, but try to support it if you
can and then demand will gradually bring prices down. If
you eat meat, insist on only choosing organic,
free-range meat.
Put yourself back in tune with the rhythm of the year
by buying food that is produced locally, food that is in
season. We've grown so accustomed to having whatever we
want whenever we want it that we have forgotten the joy
of the first taste of the new asparagus crop, or the
first strawberries, the soft gleam of chestnuts in their
proper season. Seasonal produce is the food we need for
each time of year: light fresh foods for the hot
seasons; warm, nourishing foods for the cold.
Prepare food with love, care and attention. Cooking
is an art, the first creative art of all. Cooking in a
race, with irritation and annoyance at the "wasted
time" turns your meals into sad, soul-less
sustenance. Food prepared with mindfulness, with an idea
of truly nourishing your self, your friends, your
family, becomes a soul-feast. It isn't about concocting
lavish repasts all the time--it's more about imbuing
your cookery--from the smartest dinner party down to
the quickest sandwich--with a sense of care. Make
cookery and the preparation of food a small homely
ritual--the food you create will be transformed into
your very fabric, into your skin and bones and blood. It
will give you the gift of energy and vitality, of peace
and comfort. So choose food that your body loves--honest healthy food, not dead empty calories.
There a hundred and one other ways you can nourish
your soul on a daily, hourly, moment by moment basis.
These ideas are just the tip of the iceberg but I hope
they have given you some pointers. If you want to find
out more, then my books are packed with ways to nourish
and care for your self, body, mind and spirit. They
include:
THE FIVE MINUTE
HEALER: takes you through a typical
stress-packed day with ideas for healing body, mind and
soul. Incorporates the best tips and techniques from a
host of healing therapies, including shiatsu, jin shin
jyutsu, aromatherapy, yoga, chi kung, reiki, homeopathy,
flower essences, NLP, hypnotherapy, dance and art
therapy and many more.
THE ENERGY
SECRET: If you can recognise and work with
vital energy you have at your fingertips THE tool for
modern living. This is a practical guidebook for
learning how to detect, feel and direct vital energy in
all areas of your life. It investigates body energy,
emotional energy, nature energy, work energy, sex energy
and soul energy, helping you reconnect with your self,
your family, your partner, your work and your soul.
SPIRIT OF THE
HOME: How to make your home into a
sanctuary. Our homes are vital to our sense of well-being
yet many of us feel alienated by, or uncomfortable in
the places we live. This book shows how to transform
your home (whether a tiny apartment or a vast mansion)
into a home which delights the senses and soothes the
soul. Includes simple advice on decluttering, space
cleansing, feng shui, smudging, decoration, home
mythology and psychology. Comes in two versions:
unillustrated paperback or fully illustrated hardback.
SACRED RITUALS AT
HOME: Meaningful rituals can
enhance our lives and imbue every day with a sense of
the sacred. Ritual offers a chance to stop and take
stock; to be in the moment; to make us feel more
positive, more energised, more relaxed or more
confident. This book gives clear instructions on how to
create your own rituals: honouring the body; motivating
the psyche; boosting relationships; soothing the soul
and honouring the seasons.
THE
DETOX PLAN FOR BODY, MIND AND SPIRIT: Detoxing isn't just
about cleansing the body; it's about taking the
opportunity to reassess every aspect of your life,
discarding the old and welcoming in the new and fresh.
This book cuts through the often misleading and
confusing information on detoxing and gives you all you
need to know to cleanse you body, mind and even your
soul. It includes two full detox programs: a short
weekend introduction and a full month-long deep cleanse.
Copyright © 2001 Jane
Alexander
Jane Alexander is a UK-based writer on natural health, holistic living and
contemporary spirituality. She is the author of ten books, including
Spirit of the Home, The Five Minute Healer and The Energy Secret. Jane
lives on Exmoor, an area of wilderness in South-West England, with her
husband, toddler son and numerous animals. Read more of
Jane Alexander's work on her website: www.smudging.com
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