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Lao Tzu said, "Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing yourself is enlightenment."

This month's topic involves Numerology and the issues behind the relationships in our lives. When it comes to relationships, I think that if those involved are willing to support a relationship, especially marriage, then you can allow the relationship to grow and prosper. However, I do believe that we first need to know ourselves before we can build strong, lasting and supportive relationships. With the aid of introspective tools, such as Numerology, you can know more about your potential strengths, skills and pitfalls.

What I would like to look at this month is how each individual handles emotional expression in a relationship. Your ability or failure to express can influence the success of any relationship. When I talk about expressing, I am talking about your ability to be open, honest, supportive, clear and fully active in a relationship. Of course some people are more prone to suppress their feelings, like anger, than others are.

Numerologically, we will want to examine our emotional capabilities. Naturally, openly sharing your thoughts, feelings, and emotions can help to build trust and develop or deepen relationships. Most likely, we all have room to expand in this area. Within a relationship, especially the romantic ones, sharing is like watering your crops. When it comes to emotions, we would want to continue to look at our Personal Year, so that we will know some of the general Numerological influences that may be influencing ourselves and our partners. If you are not aligned with the energy/vibration of your particular Personal Year then it may be difficult to contribute to a relationship as you may feel stressed, over burdened, and rushed.

You may also be in a time period that is better suited for taking care of special issues. For instance, a #4 year is about building stability and taking care of personal or family issues. If you have older parents or young children then it could be more important to provide time for their care. This could also be a year when you need to take care of your own health issues. You will need to evaluate whether or not you are handling the issues that are appropriate for you. Sometimes we can easily balance our lives. It is up to you to find a way to balance your life. Remember that now is when you are living. How you live today will pave the way toward your future. Your focus, personal attitudes and feelings towards yourself and others help to shape the way in which you live.

Evaluating the questions below may help you decide whether or not, now is the time for a relationship in your life.

1. Do I have time for a relationship?
2. Am I physically ready for a relationship?
3. Am I mentally ready for a relationship?
4. Am I emotionally ready for a relationship?
5. Am I spiritually ready for a relationship?
6. Am I utilizing my resources appropriately?

If the answer to all of the questions above is yes, then you are probably ready for a relationship. Otherwise, then the most important relationship to work on is the one with yourself. Your personal numbers can help to illustrate where you will need the most work. Depending on your personal numbers, you may find developing relationships during a particular time period to be easier than at other times. 

We all have challenges in life and personal growth and learning to do. Assisting others with their growth and helping others can be a great way to foster all kinds of relationships. We are not here alone. We don't exist just as individuals. We also are here with or in search of significant people in our lives, such as our friends, family, lovers and partners.

There is always something that you could be doing to improve yourself and the relationships in your life. Certain years and time periods are beneficial to contemplation and discussion, while others are better suited to action. During the time periods in your life when you feel alone, you could reach out and join any number of groups, clubs, or volunteer agencies. Who knows where this will lead? During a #1 year, this can be a great way to get out and begin a variety of new types of relationships, which is one way to harness to power of the "new beginnings" that the #1 represents. During the other years, and time periods, it still can be a great way to stay connected with your community. Don't be afraid to take some risks.

After you have a better grasp of your Personal Year Number, you can then determine your Personal Month Numbers each month. This is a simple process of adding the current calendar month number to your Personal Year Number. If your Personal Year Number is 5, and it is currently December then add 12 to 5. (12 + 5 = 17). After reducing ( 1 + 7 = 8) you will find that your personal month is 8. By understanding the basic meaning of the primary Numerology numbers you will then be better able to understand the ebb and flow of your personal year. Within a relationship, communication can be facilitated by aligning with and understanding the Numerological cycles of your partners.

You may also want to use some of your own personal numbers, such as your Soul Number, Life Path, and Outer Number to open up a discussion about yourself and the your relationship with a significant other, or potential partners. Perhaps you do not see the qualities that a particular number represents, but your partner may. This can be a good way to get to know each other better. Your personal numbers can always help to illustrate where you shine, and where you will need the most assistance in your life. Dialogue with your partner can highlight your strengths, challenges and weaknesses. Also, your dialogues can focus in on areas of your personality that are fine, and those that need to be changed. Your talks with your partners can allow each of you to know how much "inner acceptance" the other person has. Are you happy with yourself?

The more accepting you are of yourself, the less dependent on others you will be. Over dependence on others (Codependency) can be detrimental to your emotional health. It can be important, especially in the beginning of a relationship, to set boundaries with your partner. Setting boundaries means that you are willing to take responsibility, and that you demand equality and respect in a relationship. Boundaries can develop as we learn to respect, honor, value, trust and listen to ourselves and others.

When you feel threatened, angry, or victimized, then you will have an understanding of the boundaries that need to be set in your life. Individuals with introverted personalities and Soul Numbers may need help setting boundaries. Your Soul Number represents qualities which are more internal, and thus not easily recognized by others. If you don't ask for assistance, then nobody may recognize that you need it. For those individuals who feel more introverted, bookish, or aloof (such a 4, 5, 7) they may have a tougher time dealing with these feelings, or expressing them. They may need some type of outside assistance. Your other numbers will help to paint your personality, but only you know how emotionally active and mature you are.

Ultimately, only you can know if now is the right time for a relationship and whether you are indeed in a relationship with the right "compatible" person. Hopefully, you will both be willing to work out your differences and make the necessary changes in your personalities so that you can get along. Ideally, the relationships in your life should be healthy, open and mutually supportive. Real connections are important, regardless of whether you are connecting with a business partner or significant other.

Good luck on your journey in Soulful Living and Numerology.

Copyright © 2002 Rob Ragozzine. All Rights Reserved.