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The
Romance Reverend’s Seven Steps to Relationship Success
If you are in between relationships, this is a great
time to reflect on important pointers for getting ready
for love and being able to receive love and truly deal
with a relationship, when Cupid’s coveted arrow does
pierce your heart!
1. Develop A Relationship With Yourself, First
The person you must fall in love with first is you.
Too often people seek out others who will fill some
inner need, as opposed to someone with whom you can
truly share life. It’s important to recognize the
distinction between "neediness and having
someone," and "love and sharing from the
heart." Dysfunctional relationships are born out of
unions between people who don’t really know what it
means to love, honor and cherish. People who love, honor
and cherish themselves--or at least strive for it--are
more capable of both giving and receiving that from a
mate.
2. Build Your Self Esteem
Research has proven time and again that people who
get trapped in bad or abusive relationships suffer from
low self-esteem. Sometimes, because of background and
personal history, the only model someone has for love is
destructive behavior or pain; perhaps they lived in a
household were "love" was expressed that way.
It gets dramatized in every relationship they have.
Utilize everything you can--books, therapy, friends--to
enhance emotional health and self-esteem.
3. Change yourself. Don’t expect others to
change--do expect miracles!
Your personal power to change your own life is the
greatest power of all. It is impossible to make another
person change or offer help they have not asked for. But
you can always strive to change yourself.
4. Learn to accept yourself, and you will know how to
accept others.
Self-acceptance is your model for accepting others. If
you are critical, harsh and unforgiving of yourself--so
will you be to others.
5. Learn how to "surrender."
Control is a touchy issue in relationships. Yet
surrender has nothing to do with control. It has to do
with letting down your defenses and letting go of fear,
in order to surrender and truly merge with another
person. There is a notion that surrender makes one
vulnerable, and vulnerability equals powerlessness. Not
for people who realize that, when they are healthy
inside, it is a natural response to surrender. We may
try to get at it through sex, but, when you surrender on
more than just a sexual level, it allows you to really
have that which you truly desire: True intimacy.
6. Ask for what you want.
Women, more so than men, need coaching on this. This
is not just for relationships but everything. While
there is a line between nagging and making a request,
there is a huge area of possibility in which magical
things will happen if only you request them!
7. Learn to receive well.
The best way to continue getting what you want is to
learn how to receive it well. The more you say thank
you--to yourself, your significant other, to God,
Goddess, All there is--the more good things that flow
your way. The more good things that flow your way, the
more experience you will have letting them in. Work on
this and master it. In order to have your romantic
dreams come true, you must be able to let Love in when
it comes knocking at your door … and you must also be
willing to allow Love to stay!
© Copyright
Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway All Rights
Reserved.
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